tiara nadirah; my life is my life. (:

say heloh.

2010-10-25T17:00:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

say heloh to my another bby. i just gave birth. hahaha!

shopping with mommy;

2010-10-18T23:28:00.001+08:00

heloh sweethearts. so went shopping with mommy. bought Charles&Keith bags. gosh! you can never get enuf of bags please! wadtodooooooo~

bought a black wedges. i gave my brown wedges away en i bought a new one? WTHECK TIARA? the purpose of giving it away in the first place was to clear my footwears but i ended up buying a new one. gahhhh~ itchy hands, i must say! hahaha. ouh well..

& lyk finally, mommy bought me a new camera. CANON IXUS 130! hehe. ^^ & a new DVD player! my old one has alot of missing buttons!

okay, im done blogging! hehe. ciao!

saturday!;

2010-10-17T00:22:00.000+08:00

heloh sweetheart;

well, basically went to the wedding agn. Persandingan, so yeahh. Iqah&Iraa wasnt there so basically, i rot there alone. well, not exactly alone.. there was Audi, Ili, Zikri all but yeah, somehw i was alone! gosh, you know what i mean. hahaha.

After that, met Iraa & headed to town. woots! lepak with Cesz, Uni en all. bumped into Ein, Chacha, Don.. yes, Don. paisey sia, dah larh msg-es diek aku tk rep en at that point of tym i was holding my fone & i was hoping that my fone wont ring! haha. paisey sia, ku ckp pp8 ku low! =_="

ciao!

my long dayyyyy;

2010-10-15T23:21:00.001+08:00

heloh sweethearts. so, errm, at night, one of my cousin gt married. so yeah. most of the family memberes gathered at Tamp to attend the weding. the wedding theme colour was purple! OMG! PURPLE! PURPLE & BLACK! so pretay please! hehehe. i liokeeee. ^^

earlier on, Irahh accompanied me to Dover to take my lucky draw price. gosh, so freaking far please. thanks beb! then we decided to meet Sebastian at Jurong en have our lunch together. (:

okay larh. ciao! i need to get some rest. i have been awake since 8am! gosh! (:

p.s pictures can b found at FB.

chiaochibai;

2010-10-11T00:21:00.005+08:00

i seriously just dont understand some ppl, you know? how can they be so effing shit heartless? seriously. i hate to see the ppl i love cry.. en after i found out what that heartless jerk did to my cousin, i was so fucked up. who wouldnt be, right? she may only b my cousin but you all have no idea how much she mean to me tho we hardly meet or hang out together.

if what Art did to me was alrdy so painful en it made me cried a river.. i can bet that most prolly my cousin is even more hurt that how i was. seriously, i can cry right now.

FUCK YOU BITCHES WHO SO DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS! THANKS UH FOR BEING SO HEARTLESS! CHIAOCHIBAI!

i may not know how she really feel now, but i know how its lyk to b heartbroken! it hurts.

xoxo;

2010-10-10T13:09:00.003+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

well, i have been rotting at home! gahhh. suck huh?

been sleeping lyk a pig, i tell you! seriously. i think i slept too much till i have a bad bad headache. serve me right!

on thursday night, i was seriously dying of boredem! met Pen about 11plus pm en lepak at Bedok. headed home arnd 2plus am.

on Friday, thod of meeting Mai en Shafa but decided not to. i was effing shit sleepy! slept frm about 530pm till about 11pm! watched Bujang Ngebet Kawin then went to sleep again till the next morning! OMG! LYK PIGGY RIGHT?! hahah.

on Sat, i was suppose to meet Aufa en Shafa but no, i didnt. my headache was killing me. i couldnt even walk straight! YES, ITS THAT BAD! I FELT LYK DYING! but ouh wells, no one even bothered. Arnd 9pm Audi called en asked if i wanna meet but sorry brahh, im so lazy please en my headache was being such a pain in the ass. en if i faint halfway, how? haha.

en OMGOSH! school is starting in afew hours tym! well, which is tmrw! gahhhh. seriously, i hate school. i know im lyk a bitch. i post shits in my Twitter, FB or blog but gahh, i just cant help it. okay, my classmates can be nice but i just hate all that drama shit, ya know? en i have my reasons why i rather hang out with outside frens compared to my classmates, schoolmates. en yes, i know i sound lyk a bitch BUT i choose my frens. en sometyms, to think of it, IS THERE EVEN ANYBODY WHO YOU CAN CALL FRENS?! HAHAHAH. FUCK HUH? well, the fact, you cant depend on anyone but yourself. you cant trust anyone but yourself. sorry, no offence ppl.

ouh well, shall stop blogging now. will be heading to Gparents hse ltr. ciao!

nbcb;

2010-10-07T15:55:00.003+08:00

ytdy, headed to town with Iraa. met Alep, Cezs, Uni, Din & Fir. bumped into Einn. then bumped into Raph. so yeahh, that was it. had fun tho. had a great tym talking to Iraa. heheh. i love you, minah. (:

few days bck, met Shafa for lunch at Afghan. thanks love. (:

&&&& omg, i cnt believe it, its been 3days straight & all my plans gt cancelled. nbcb sial.

firstly; ytdy, date with gf-s cancelled cs Sherynn en Shafa wasnt free.

secondly; tdy, i was suppose to g my gparents hse cs my relatives frm Australia or idk whr coming to visit my gparents. BUT IT WAS CANCELLED TOO!

thirdy; my date with my cousins tmrw, CANCELLED TOO cs Audi have to do night duty.

SWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OR WHAT?! SUCKS TO B ME! HAIYO. :(

p.s sorry Zee cs i didnt g sheesha with you. im in no mood to g out rdy. pfft!

cinta fitri 6;

2010-10-05T15:01:00.002+08:00

seriously, im getting really annoyed with this show. fuck sial. season 6 ehyyyy?! penat taw tngk dri season 1. pfft! bt i cnt help it, pleaseee? so addictive en i wanna know what gonna happen in the end. haiyooooo. cepetan abes dong bokkk? gw capek ni nonton setiap hari. sumpah dehhh.

xoxo;

2010-10-05T13:08:00.007+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

okay, i have been spending most of my tym at home. rotting inside my room, on the bed. either sleeping or watching teevee. heheh. ^^

i cant remember which day i watched this movie.. heh.;
(Morning)Pacar Sewaan.

Saturday;
(Night)Badik Titipan Ayah.

Sunday;
(Night)Bidadari Penjaga Hati

Monday;
(Morning)Mantera Cinta Jagung Bakar.
(Night)Wanted: Pacar Ganteng dan Kaya.

Tuesday;
(Morning)I Left My Heart In Bangka.

i watched other FTV's movies too but gahh, theres just too many of them. i cnt rmbr. heh. all those above were the recent ones. cowok-cowok nya makin ganteng ama keren aja. cair bokkk! ^^ en hell yeah, fuck. im so jealous of the girls, please? they're lyk effing shit pretay, hot & sexay! JEALOUS!

en yes, i have another obsession. im not only crazy over Bollywood. but also Indonesian Movies. hehe. cowok-wowok nya ganteng banget bokkkkkk! gw suka tuh ama cowok yg kayak gtu! cakepppppppp! ^^

random;

2010-10-03T02:17:00.005+08:00

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.

met 3bbyg-s in 1day;

2010-10-02T23:26:00.004+08:00

met Lala, LYK FINALLY! I MISS HER GOD DAMN MUCH! (: went to Iqah's openhse. miss that pretay lady too mann! hehe. i cnt wait for both of your Olevels to end. :D

then, met Shafa at Tamp. chilled at CoffeeBean. thanks love. (:

you're dead;

2010-10-02T02:34:00.000+08:00

was otp with Iika. lets kill hym, okay? (:

bullshits;

2010-09-30T00:19:00.005+08:00

heloh sweetheart.

i was FB hopping en jeng3, i found something.

come on dude. grow up, will you? seriously. how many more girls' feelings you wanna play? i have been there, in that situation before. i know how it feels.

"after this no more.." yadda3. all the shits you told me when you wanted to leave me. im gonna b the last en all but hey, by looking at your FB, nahh. all those are fucking bullshits. (:

on your bdae, i realised that i was being stupid by wanting you back. en seriously, that iloveyoubee-feeling, was gone. poooof! on that freaking spot. the moment i stepped into your house. i believed God knock some sense to me, ya? im thankful. & i guess, the fact that i wanted you badly was because i do not want any other girls to have you. selfish, huh? haha.

we're still friends, dude. and as a fren, i dont lyk seeing you lyk this. doing all this shit, ya knw? i mean.. urrgh. its hard to explain. i loved you before, but now, i only love you as friend. i still care for you as a fren. so dont get me wrong if im being nice to you. im being nice because by nature, I AM NICE OKAY! haha.

i saw someone's status. and geeee, i bet you're telling her the same shit you told me. please uh. pity her. pity us. girls have feelings too ya. so dont make use of us.

& im not that stupid either, ya know. i still have all the snapshots of our MSN convo-s. in case, who knows? you might tell your current gf whatever shits about me, right? you could say abd things about me.. hehe. im not being mean or bitchy or anything.. im just.. erm, protecting myself? cheyyyy.

hugs&kisses.

Girls Night Out;

2010-09-29T23:55:00.001+08:00

town as usual. with girlfriends. had an awesome tym.

im lazy to elaborate. heh.

p.s pictures can b found at FB.

Open Hse;

2010-09-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

well, basically on the 25th & 26, i had my relative's & gf's open hse. (:

Happy Birthday;

2010-09-26T03:11:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to Eeinn.
may all your wishes come true.
semoge panjang umor.

Love ya.

*hugs&kisses*

my unplanned date with bro;

2010-09-24T23:53:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

so yeah, Rachel couldnt meet me last min.. so sadddd. :( thank god bro was bored too. so headed to Penin to buy his skateboard. after that, went to Cathay but the movie he wanted to watch wasnt there.. so yeah. then off to Plaza Sing to see if the movie he wanted to watch was available but NO, it wasnt. =_=" so had our dinner at KFC instead.

played pool. haha. im lyk addicted to it sial! HAHAHA!

walked to Cine. thod of watching midnight movie but most of it were NC16 or M18! pfffffft! =_="

so yeah, home sweet home! thanks bro for the awesome tym! i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! hehehe. ^^

KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO ME, PLEASE! DAMN!

Happy Birthday;

2010-09-24T03:09:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to Kamarularifin & Ili Munirah.
may all your wishes come true.
semoge panjang umor dan sehat seht slalu.

Love ya both.

*hugs&kisses*

Peacock cock;

2010-09-23T01:13:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

so met Sherynn arnd 6pm en headed to Cathay to watch Devil. gosh. both of us were screaming lyk hell. & seriously, its lyk only the both of us screamed altho there were alot of ppl in the cinema. =_="

arnd 10pm, went to play pool. after about an hour or so, met Ein en Art for awhile. so yeah, im home nw. gahhh. im so sleepy please! (tpi sempat ehy aku blog.. HAH!)

kaylarh, i think i shall bath then go to my dream land! seriously, im so SLEEPY!

ciao!

p.s nk g town nti psl aku mendak tpi aku mls.. HAHAHAHAH! hw ehy? :/

pyaar impossible;

2010-09-22T13:25:00.000+08:00

was watching it half way en the stupid comp died on me! bloody hell. ouh well, shall continue SOON?

2 in 1;

2010-09-21T23:36:00.004+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

well, went to Town with bbyg, Shafa to gt some accessories. frm Somerset walked to Orchard then to Dhoby. sat at Dhoby to have a little chit-chat. Ein came en joined us. en gahhh, UNEXPECTEDLY, bumped in Sunny en afew others. so yeah, they joined us too. geeee. well, its true that i did meet Sunny last Sunday but seriously, things are just not working out btwn us. basically, both of us just dunno what the fuck we want actually. we say this shit then the next min, its gone. hell with that.

& ouh, then Art came. its been afew mnths since i last met Art after all the shits that happened btwn us. but hey, i gt nathing againts hym alrdy. when we saw each other, we smiled en then laughed. haha. okay, wtheck. but ouh well, seriously whats pass is the pass. (:

then walked back to Somerset cs they wanted to skate at Scape. sat there for awhile. since Shafa wanted to g home, i made a move too. i mean, wth am i gonna du there alone right? =_="

so here i am now, HOME SWEET HOME. my legs are seriously aching. haha. penat sial jalan.

ciao!

please dun ask me what i want cs seriously, i dun even know it myself.

20th;

2010-09-20T19:12:00.001+08:00

hey, its the 20th.

all bcos of a cake;

2010-09-19T22:06:00.004+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

so yeah, i went to Somerset alone to gt the cake. =_=" ALONE? PATHETIC MUCH! ate at LJS cs i was hungry. en YES, i ate alone. cb. my stupid tummy was grumbling, so yuh. i was taking my own sweet tym finishing my food, kaypo-kaypo looked around. sumpah mendak. went into one shop then another shop. pffft! 2 words, NO LIFE! en ouh, i dun know hw many tyms i went to the toilet. in out, in out, in out! ahaha! apah sahhhh tiara????!

then off to Yishun.

ciao. IM SO SLEEPY. heh.

p.s ouh Town, finally i gt to see you again tomorrow! hehe. well, hopefully! *kening up-up*

well, atleast it was worth of my tym.

shazwan;

2010-09-19T01:25:00.005+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CB.
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE.
SEMOGE PANJANG UMOR & SEHAT SEHAT SELALU.
*hugs&kisses*

LOVE YOU.

p.s im so sorry cs i took your pic wo your permission.

gayo;

2010-09-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

so yeah, tdy i stayed at home till night. nenek said she wanna g inter BUT she paitao me last min. so meannnnnnnnnnnnnnn! haha. ouh well, at night Mai called. met her at Bedok McDo. thanks for the fun tym (:

& hey, its gonna b 19september. :(

i hate luv storys;

2010-09-18T00:56:00.002+08:00

okay, this movie seriously made me teared. well, it wasnt that sad, but its sad! ahahaha!

the girl believes in love stories, prince charming en all. but the guy thinks that all of it are bullshits utill he fall in love with her. but by the tym he realised it, the girl was back with her ex boyfren. :/

go watch! ^^

kay, i wanna g find a new movie to watch! hehehehe.

seventeen;

2010-09-17T17:41:00.004+08:00

hey, its the 17. & i remembered, on the 17august2010, i confessed to myself that yes, i du have feelings for you.

come back to me;

2010-09-16T18:29:00.002+08:00

Y'all need to get ready to hear
The unbelievable, indescribable
Vanessa Hudgens
Baby V

Everyday I try to play another game
But my heart can't take it
I try to find another boy
But all the while I can't face it

Why do I miss you so much?
I wanna stop to turn inside
Oh baby please
Give us one more try

I see you out with all your friends
Laughing it up as you pretend
To have a good time
I know 'cause I'm living the same life

So I'm about to got to say
We can't keep living this same way
So I'll be the one
Yeah I'll say it, I'll say it, I'll say it, I'll say it again

Baby come back to me
In my heart I still believe
We were meant to be
Together so whatever it takes

Baby come back to me
I should've never set you free
Love baby
Come back

I wanna call, but then I stall
'Cause after all, I just couldn't take it
'Cause if your play was to push me away
You know that day, my heart you'd break it

I know we made a mistake
Can't you stop your foolish pride
And come back to me?
Let's try, let's try, let's try, let's try it again

Baby come back to me
In my heart I still believe
We were meant to be
Together so whatever it takes

Baby come back to me
I should've never set you free
Love baby
Come back

You know you miss your Baby V
And I can see that you think about me
So why do you act like you don't care
Like all this love between us isn't there

I know that you're upset
I know I did you wrong
I know that you want me to pay for all the pain I've caused
But in the end it all comes down to just one thing
It's you and me
So I sing

Baby come back to me
In my heart I still believe
We were meant to be
Together so whatever it takes

Baby come back to me
I should've never set you free
Love baby
Come back

3 down, its tym to enjoyyyy;

2010-09-16T17:58:00.003+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

tdy was the last day of examinations. wooots! Alhamdullilah, the paper was okay. hopefully i will du well. Inshaallah.

so, after the paper, me Sherynn & Irahh went to Spore Expo. there was John Little Sale. ate at Texas Chicken. YUMMY SUNGGOH! *lick lips*

after they went home, mommy came dwn to Expo to meet me. did a little shopping.

item bought;
-pink tanktop
-purple tanktop
-blue checked shirt
-white shirt dress
-black top

gahhh. padahal hari tu bru beli Forever21 nye top! haiyo. but ouh well, f- it larh huh?

thanks Ein for talking to me. called my gf-s en no one answered the phone & i was dying at the bustop cs mommy took such a long tym! & i wanted to hangout tdy, but ouh well, no one seems to b free. & tomorrow too. so sad, please?!

& hey, saturday is coming... en i feel so sad. i was looking foward for saturday, lyk seriously. i was so excited about it.. but i guess, i have to frgt about it larh.. :(

seriously speaking, this year's Ramadhan & Syawal, bnyk cubaan. but hey, cheer up Tiara! Allah tidak akan memberi cubaan kepada hambanya lebih dripda yg mereka mampu.. (harap2 krng phm larh. melayu aku lame2 maken corrupted! heheh.) im just hoping for the best. i knw, im not a perfect Muslim yadda3 but fyi, i still rmbr that im a Muslim en i still knw my basic agama okay..

ouh well, till then. ciao! will upload the pic, hopefully. heh.

p.s I WANT THAT BLACK SHIRT DRESS TOO, PLAESE?!

iqahhlelly;

2010-09-15T23:34:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHADY BEB.
SEMOGE PANJANG UMOR DAN SEHAT SEHAT SLALU.
MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE.
*hugs&kisses*

hope to meet you soon.

loveyou.

2 down, 1 more to go;

2010-09-15T23:10:00.003+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

so ytdy night, revised on PPE. YES, I DID! so effing proud of myself. ws mugging lyk hell, i tell you since 8pm till about 2am. & i only managed to revise about 3quaters of the notes! gahhh. but Alhamdullilah, the paper tdy was okay. tho i gt a little frustrated with myself cs i frgt some of it. bahhh. but ouh well. its over. (:

ciao.

& hey, if you ever wondered, im lonely here tonight.

milenge milenge;

2010-09-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

this movie is awesome! its about believing in faith and destiny.

if you both are meant for each other, God will make you both meet someday.. even if it take yaers.. (:

1 down, 2 more to go;

2010-09-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

so, the night before examinations, me&Sherynn went to town to du a little shopping. heh. i knw i knw, we were supposed to b studying at home & not hang around town. but gahh, i cnt help it. & hell yeah, i need to clear my mind.

& so, basically, i screwed my ECD paper. i didnt know what to du. =_=" i dun even understand a single shit, okay! bloody hell. tsk. en, my mind was somewhere.. very far far away.. :(

aku dah mati;

2010-09-12T15:11:00.000+08:00

im officially dead. bye.

random;

2010-09-11T15:57:00.003+08:00

i laughed, en so did my bro. ahah. awwwww. you suck cb, but ouh well. *hugs&kisses*

1st day of hari raye;

2010-09-11T01:31:00.004+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

okay, so first day of raye, went to nenek&datok's hse. then arnd 330pm, cabbed to Telok Blange to Arwah Tok Ma'on's. gosh, there were alot of ppl there. en ouh, kak nadia just gave birth to a babygirl & soon, Inshaallah next month, one of my akak sedare gonna give birth too. currently, dad's side, i have about 15 nephews en nieces. geeeeeeee. i feel old. I FEEL VERY VERY OLD. especially when they call me Aunty Tiara. =_="

& ouh after that, Abg Shaha was kind enuf to send us home. Thanks Abang! (:

soon after we gt home, Cik Man's family & Busu Lan's family came to our hse.

so yeah, basically that was it. im in no mood for raye. so, understand understood jek larh yer? IM ONLY IN THE MOOD FOR EATING. aku asek makan, makan, makan dan MAKAN! haiyoooooooooooooooo.

first paper is on MONDAY! & im not ready. i tried studying but FAILED. got alot of distractions. gahhhhhh~ die larh tiara, die! please God, kuatkan iman aku untok blaja besok dan sunday! please please, pretay please. AMIN!

ciao.

p.s AKU NK G TOWN, BOLEH? SUMPAH AKU TKDEK MOOD NK RAYE! AHAHAH. ^^

p.p.s aku rindu ko larh cb. i seriously cnnt wait for next week to celebrate your bdae with you bee. ehy wait, will your family b there too? AKU TAKOT/PAISEY/MALU. SUMPAH. heh.

Selamat Hari Raya;

2010-09-10T00:58:00.002+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYE, SWEETHEARTS!
MAAF JIKE TERKASAR BAHASE ATAU TERSILAP LAKU.
*blow you my kisses*

okay, random;

2010-09-08T18:23:00.002+08:00

what a wet day;

2010-09-08T12:44:00.003+08:00

heloh sweethearts,

mommy woke me up early in the morning en asked to to accompany her to the martket. pfft! FYI, its not supermarket BUT THE WET MARKET! sumpah, geli. i went there with my im-still-sleepy face. selekeh abes, i tell you. jersey top & shorts. one word, MASAI!

mommy left me in the middle of nowhere en asked me to look after the stupid trolley. i was disgusted. seriously, gt alot of flies! ewww. fly here, fly there. geli sial aku. then right, when i was waiting for my mommy, this makcik came to my trolley en started touching the daun kelapa. she started shouting, "mak! daun mak mane? daun mak mane?!". cb. i stared at her lyk seriously stared. *why the fuck you touching my daun, mann! face* HAH. irrits sial. aku dah tengah ngantok! gahhh~

it started raining heavily. FML much. so, we decided to go to McDo en eat. ahah. kay, mak ngn anak perangai sial. we are not fasting, so yuh. en ouh, paisey okay eat in public. slmat muke kte due muke cine. hah.

&&&&&&&& HOT NEWWWWS! cheyy~ my gparents will b staying with us most prolly after raye cs they are moving hse. it will take tym to process the thingy. about 1month, i think. well, its kinda exciting that they will b styaing with us. i mean, we will have more tym tgether. but somehw, it will b lyk, NO THIS! NO THAT! CANNOT DU THIS! CANNOT DU THAT! ouh well, i think you gt what im trying to say.

& i couldnt sleep ytdy. seriously. omg, every single day we will sure have something to argue about. or something that will make us pissed with each other. cb. we are okay at one moment, then 5mins later, we cursed each other lyk theres no tmrw. then the next day, we either forgt about it or we will naturally b okay. wtheck right? hah. sometyms, i dun even know what we are fighting about. =_="

a good example will be;
"ko irritating!"
"aku tawu. irritating g crik laki laen uh.."
"ko nk pmpn laen ko ckp jek uh. tkya beat arnd the bush."
"ehy. aku tkdek pmpn laen ehy! dah uh ko g crik laki laen."
"fine uh aku crik. ihateyou!"
"ohh. now i know. bye! dun come bck. cb!"
"ko uh cb!"
"fuck!"
"musibot!"
& it goes on....

you suck but i love you bee. & fyi, i mean it. ouh, i miss you alot dengs. lyk effing alot that i think im dying. :(

ciao. *blow you my kisses*

i almost died;

2010-09-08T00:58:00.003+08:00

msg received, "hey.(something...)."
me; obviously panicked lyk shit.
then received a msg again, "you been punked. ily."

i feel lyk killing Shazwan now. i almost died of a heart attack okay! cb. & omg, inside my mind was, CAN I RUSH DWN TO YISHUN NOW?! hahahaha. sial uh ko. cb cb cb cb cb! ilyt, btw.

yes, im that paranoid. i panicked easily. & no, its not funny.

love;

2010-09-07T20:20:00.001+08:00

You know when you are in love because you love every little thing about your partner. Love is a physical and emotional state of mind. Every aspect of the love I have found is indescribable and is based on my inspiration.

im dying;

2010-09-06T21:52:00.006+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

first of all, im really bored. im dying, i tell you. shazwan jx left me agn! my idiotic bro went to sleep! my sister, errr, asleep too i guess? thus... that kinda explains why im blogging again. tsktsktsk. fyi SHAZWAN, I HATE YOU FOR THAT!! hmmph. (i swear Shazwan sounds nicer bee, trust me. heh.)

en gahhh. school was supposed to start at 1pm tomorrow then now changed tyming again. at 8am! cb! 8am! why am i even complaining? HAHA. cs it makes no diff what tym school starts cs im either late or absent from school. pfft. but goshhhhh! i cant help it, please? can i not g to school tmrw? PPE at 8-10. then, 10-1pm free period. 1pm then start lesson again.. ALAMAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK~ MALAS NYER. during that free period, i swear i can du many things. a good example will b, SLEEPING. i have lyk ugly dark circles due to sleeping at 3am almost every single day. geeeeee.

tho im not excited for raye, i still wanna gt my nails done. & i have to make my henna larh! henna very important okay! aku gler bollywood, so must understand understood larh. geylang anyone? or even better, little india? :( PLEASE? i will buy you a candy.. *muke sedihh*

& ouh, did i mention that i bought another set of bangle again last friday? i think i didnt right? geeee. i cant help it larh. its so tempting.. wait till i gt my duit raye, AKU BORONG SATU KEDAI UHHHHHHH! =_="

okay, i shall stop ya? cs im writing shits. well, bullshits. sumpah aku mendakk! :(

ciao! *blow you my flying kiss*

p.s im not dumb, you dumb ass. aku dumb pn ko nk jugak kann? cb ko.

p.p.s i feel lyk killing Sherynn cs she v lembab upload gambar! ahahaha!

& theres no need to b sorry or feeling guilty. if things are meant to b, it will. just dun give up en try our best. hopefully, we will stay as one. Inshaallah. aku syg ko dengs.

random;

2010-09-06T21:46:00.000+08:00

at first aku pikir ape tahh si diek ni nk bebual ngn aku.. HAHA. kecoh uh ko Yan.

S.E.X

2010-09-06T18:52:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

okay, school, as usual, A PAIN IN MY BLOODY ASS. gahhhhh~ well, i went to school only for the sake to meet Sherynn, Fazil & Irahh. & some other ppl too, i guess. & ouh, raye is coming. im so not excited, cann? goshh. i soo cant wait for 16sept onwards! HOLIDAY HOLIDAY HOLIDAY HOLIDAY! woooots~ ^^ i hate school to the core.

& ouh, sex has been a hot topic currently. yes, SEX. funny, interesting, kecoh. p.s dun worry ppl, we're not THAT horny, ya? HAH.

hmm. okay ciao!

p.p.s i love you so much bee that i feel lyk killing you. heh. *hugs&kisses*

ass you bee;

2010-09-05T18:24:00.002+08:00

i jx love to irritate you tho i gt really annoyed when you irritate me. ahah.

& gosh, ayah is being so annoying. he asked me to gt lost frm the front comp en g use the one in the rm. alaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ mls nyer!

Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite;

2010-09-04T18:53:00.000+08:00

Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite turns me on! woooots~ so mother f-ing MT, pleaseeee?! *melts*

brazilian dude;

2010-09-04T02:58:00.000+08:00

heloh sweethearts,

went to Town with Sherynn, Ein & Acip.

bummped into Faiq hunny! miss you loads cooking partner! (:

& ouh, did i mention i bumped into the ppl that i dun wanna see? i was behaving lyk a f-ing idiotic bitch trying to avoid Don. pffft.

&& the 'best' part, me & Sherynn made frens with a Brazilian dude.

me; so whr you're frm again?
Brazilian dude; Brazil.
me; OMG! KAKA STAY THERE!! *excited gler babi*
Sherynn; *stares with that wtf face of hers whenever i mention Kaka's name" HAH.

p.s pictures will b uploaded soon, hopefully. Nur Sherynn, hurry please. ty. iloveyoubitch. *hugs&kisses*

The Reasons I Love You;

2010-09-03T02:06:00.004+08:00

I love you because you make me happy.
I love you because you make me feel safe and secure.
I love your smile.
I love the way you say my name.
I love the look in your eyes when you tell me you love me.
And how you laugh at me when I do something stupid, when others would put
me down.
I love the fact that when I’m around you I can be myself and not worry
about what you may think of me, because I know you love me for who I am.
No matter what my faults may be.
I love being able to wake up with you by my side… It makes my days
better.
At night I love watching you sleep, hearing you take each breath, and
feeling your heart beat with the palm of my hand… reality hits that you
are not a dream YOU ARE MINE.
I love the way you wrap your arms around me and hold me really tight, like
there is no tomorrow.
And I love the way I feel when your lips barely touch mine for a kiss, the
love and emotions that go through me at that moment are unexplainable.
I love your laugh.
I love hearing your voice.
I love that you get along with my family and friend, no matter how much
you dislike them, or who they are.
And hearing you tell me your stories, you could tell them to me a thousand
times, and I will never get tired of them, because they are a part of you.

But the main reason I love you is because…..

You are you!

cs in my eyes, you're all i ever wanted. (go to hell with my chinese-looking-malay guy! (: )

i love you. & if you choose to stay with me, i will stay.

taken frm my Tumblr.

who da fuck;

2010-09-03T00:14:00.002+08:00

for you;

2010-09-02T17:59:00.000+08:00

zodiac/horoscope;

2010-09-02T15:52:00.002+08:00

yesyes, i du believe in horoscope & zodiacs. well, only to a certain extend, ya? (:

ass you bee;

2010-09-02T14:13:00.005+08:00

cb you. ahaha! but i still love you. (:

random shit;

2010-08-30T22:38:00.004+08:00

yishun;

2010-08-28T22:33:00.004+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

slept late ytdy night. poor Shafa have to entertain me early in the morning. hehe. ILOVEYOUBEB! (:

so woke up early tdy, at 12pm. (FYI, 12pm is early.) headed to Yishun to meet Sunny. so effing farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~ thankfully i took the train this tym. if i were to take the bus, bahhhh~ dun even wanna think about it, ya? nyahaha!

lepak at his house frm arnd 2pm plus till buke. his mom was at home en thats scary! seriously.

iloveyoubee. *hugs&kisses*

yes, bee.

my wants are my needs;

2010-08-27T13:44:00.003+08:00

i fight for what i want.
cs what i want is what i need.

random;

2010-08-25T20:46:00.002+08:00

" bby. if....., do you want it?" ;

"Yes, in all languages. (: "

:( ;

2010-08-25T01:59:00.002+08:00

it hurts when you said im not serious.

cs only god knws how hurtful it is to b serious with someone en have high hope, then being left without a single word.

im trying to prevent myself from being so in love with you cs im just scared that you will du the same thing to me. make me love you then leave me.

i guess i will b crying myself to sleep, again? HAHAH! not a new story, huh? fml larh.

cityhall;

2010-08-25T01:56:00.002+08:00

heloh sweetheart.

so, basically i stayed at home till buke. then headed to CityHall arnd 8pm to fetch Sunny from his YOG duty. while waiting, i was trying to study my ECD but gahhh~ nathing seems to enter my brain. dammit! ouh, then sat dwn at Esplanade en talked. & home sweet home.

okay larh. bye!

date with IqahhLelly;

2010-08-23T23:25:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

well, tdy was effing awesome! met gf at bedok en headed to Tamp. spent hours chatting about chickens (yes, CHICKEN! hehe.), marriage, kids, rships & our all tym favourite, BOYS! wooooooooooooooooots~ & ofc, took tons of pictures. its fun when you have someone who love taking pictures as much as you du. (:

break fast at KFC. we wanted to eat at Pasta Mania actually, but seriously KFC's chicken are just effing tempting. hehe. (i have been eating KFC. i feel so fat.)

after break fast, had our girl talk agn & headed home arnd 930pm.

thanks for the awesome day/night, gf! love you so much. :D meet up pretay soon, love! *hugs&kisses*

p.s pictures can b found at FB. ^^

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

its either this or that;

2010-08-23T00:07:00.003+08:00

when you lose someone you love,

you are changed in one of three ways.

you could b,

BITTER, BETTER or BITCH.

STMF;

2010-08-21T23:38:00.001+08:00

alert! ;

SweetTalkerMotherFucker.

woots~

2010-08-20T23:59:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

so, went to Dhoby Ghaut to meet Shafa for buke. Sherynn couldnt make it. damn. :( bumped into Razi. Razi decided to join us for buke. then walked to City Hall. Razi had a movie date, STEP UP 3! wahlao! aku nk tngk seyyy!

Shafa sent me to CityLink en went home while i met Sunny.

basically, that was it.

p.s pictures can b found in FB.

cracked my brains.

crush on you;

2010-08-20T16:33:00.000+08:00

I wish upon a star
Wanna be right where you are
You set my world on fire
Babe I got a crush on you
I wish upon a star
Can't you see how right we are
We should be together
Babe I got a crush on you

I used to turn around and walk away
Never stopped to play
Cause there was no attraction

But in my heart you start to grow on me
Kind of suddenly
So now I've changed direction

Knowing it might seems strange
Love came over me
Feeling the luck has changed
Do you want me, like I want you?

[Chorus]

In this cold world, where dreams are few
Baby, I want you
Is it too much to ask for?

I'll take you places where you never been
If you just give in
So babe, it's now or never

Knowing it might seems strange...
Love came over me
Feeling the luck has changed
Do you want me, like I want you?

[Chorus]

Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony
Oh It's magic magic magic babe I've got a crush on you

Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony
It's magic magic cos babe I've got a crush on you

So if you feel the way I do
Would you fancy to
To take a ride beside me?

Me and you, you and me. Living a life in harmony
It's magic(oh it's magic) babe I've got a crush on you [x2]

[Chorus]

I wish upon a star
Wanna be right where you are
You set my world on fire
Babe I got a crush on you

sunshine;

2010-08-17T22:15:00.002+08:00

okay, random much. but hearing the word "sunshine", always makes me think of someone random. its lyk waddaheck, tiara? BAHAHAHAHA. i seriously wanna laugh.

random shit;

2010-08-17T16:35:00.002+08:00

okay, this is random. blah. the idiot hu never fails to make me angry en laughing at the same tym.

buju raye pink;

2010-08-16T23:19:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

so, had buke at Bedok's KFC with Iraa. then met Zul at inter en headed to bazaar to meet Iqah en Farah. gosh, its been ages since i last met Farah!

went around the bazaar to look for Zul's pink baju kurong. walked walked walked en got my deng-dengs.

headed back to Bedok. lepak for awhile at inter with Iraa while Zul en Iqah went home.

okay, im lazy to blog. CIAO!

p.s pictures can b found at FB.

tumblr is addictive;

2010-08-15T17:54:00.000+08:00

im officially bored, you know. i have been tumblr-ing since 2hours ago? or mayb 3hours ago..? =_=" tumblr is really addictive, you know. but dun worry blogger, i wnt forgt you. i promise, hopefully. heheheheh. (:

Sunny asked me if i wanted to accompany hym skate. hmm. im still deciding tho. im bored en i gt nathing to du at home. but if i g out tdy, my mommy will nag cs im gg out tmrw. haiyo.

you know what? i shall just continue tumblr-ing till buke, then decide if i wanna g Dhoby Ghaut or nt to meet Sunny.

p.s do check it out; [TUMBLR]

p.p.s i seriously feel lyk a bitch. damnn~

random;

2010-08-15T00:13:00.002+08:00

Opposites attract because they are not really opposites,
but complementaries.
- Sydney J. Harris
♥

deep in my heart;

2010-08-15T00:13:00.001+08:00

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.

random;

2010-08-15T00:12:00.000+08:00

You are my unquenched thirst, I'm in love with you. ♥

mine;

2010-08-14T02:57:00.001+08:00

recommendation from Sunny. ahaha. i cnt believe it that he listens to Taylor Swift! unexpected much. *laughing*

random;

2010-08-14T01:00:00.001+08:00

Relationships are like glass. Sometyms its better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. ♥

the last airbender;

2010-08-14T00:23:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

so met Mai at Bugis around 630pm for buke. had KFC for buke. since we didnt know where to g, went to Iluma to watch The Last Airbender at 925pm! AWESOME MUCHHHHHHH! ^^ its lyk wayyy better than the cartoon, ofc! hehehe. cnt wait for the next one, please! (:

i know, i know. some of you find the movie nonsense. ouh well, wadever. i find it nice. okay, mayb cs the guy is cute? but wadever, its nice larh! ^^

thanks alot, Mai for the awesome night. hope to meet you soon. *hugs&kisses*

sesunggohnye;

2010-08-12T23:41:00.001+08:00

sesunggohnye, saye telah membuang ego saye dan mengaku bahawe saye merindui awak. ini semue luar dari dugaan saye.

im sadddddddd;

2010-08-12T21:13:00.003+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

so today, i went to school. YES, I WENT. & guess what? Ms D said that i have to choose btwn staying in the course en pass my exams or be a drop out. YES, DROP OUT! honestly, i was shocked. i mean, i dint even gt any warning letter en out of sudden, DEBARMENT LETTER?! WTF! i seriously wanted to cry. en as usual, hu do i find.. Yul. ahah. please dont ask me why i always find hym. mayb its just a habit, mayb i just feel that hes someone i can really count on en trust. hes always there for me. (: & ouh, im sorry. should have told me earlier. confrim aku dtg nye dokk. sayang ko bnyk2 punye pasal..

random;

2010-08-11T13:08:00.001+08:00

selamat berpuase;

2010-08-11T12:59:00.003+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

okay, its the first day of Puase, so SELAMAT BERPUASE YER SEMUE! (: tahan segale nafsu yg ader. nafsu nk makan, nafsu nk minom, nafsu nk rokok dan nafsu-nafsu yg laen.. heheheh.(:

& guess what?! i bunked school AGAIN! gosh. ape nk jdi ngn ko, Tiara.. =_=" im lyk seriously lazy larh okay.. lgi2 puase.

FYI, im bored at home. i wanna g to the library but im lazy en i du not want to g alone! yes, im v annoying, i know... &&&& its so hard to control my temptation to use vulgarities! HAHAHAH! okay, dotttttttsssss~

okay larh bye! im officailly, ANNOYED!

poem;

2010-08-10T20:53:00.001+08:00

I'm falling in love with you;
by Mayra.

I sit here awake, i cannot sleep.
i think about this feeling
in my heart that i keep.
i close my eyes and,
still i see, a picture of tomorrow with u and me
i don't know why i feel this way.
i try to come up with the words to say.
to express myself to show whats inside.
my thought of you i don't want to hide.
the magic i feel when I'm with you
something that seems too good to be true.
I'm falling in love, cant you see?
i wonder if you will ever fall in love with me?
only time can tell if this is real,
the happiness you and i feel.
but i care about you, I'm falling in love.
is this a gift, or a test from above?

deep in my heart;

2010-08-10T20:42:00.002+08:00

missing you could turn from pain into pleasure,
if i knew you were missing me too.

ℒℴvℯ yℴu.

ouhhhhhhhhhh;

2010-08-10T17:18:00.005+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

ouh wells, so, im FORCED myself to g school tdy. omg~ sumpah, badan aku tknk gerak dri katil. heheh. MALAS, YOU KNOW! :( anyways, thanks Asraf for the wakeup call. heheh. sayang you bnyk2, b!

went school, touch up-ed our PPE assignment. then went for ECD. i was lying on the floor larh when Ms D was talking. sumpah, ngantok dan malas, as usual. heh.THEN, I WENT HOME! WEEEEEEEEE~ bunked CE and LPD. hehehe.

Shafa called me just now. honestly, im really happy to hear her voice. (:

made up my mind. (:

marina barrage;

2010-08-09T23:27:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

actually i wasnt suppose to g out since i had been gg out since Friday, but ouh wells. ahahah. met Asraf at Dhoby Ghaut. YES, DHOBY GHAUT AGAIN! AHAHAHA. we went Daiso to get our project stuff. ate at PS's LJS. Qiss dropped by for awhile before gg off to work.

Asraf, Irah en Shalania invited me along to g en watch fireworks with them en some frens. THANKS! so decided to join them. (:

walked to City Hall under the hot sun with Asraf! omg~ PANAS GLER JI! *sweating* waited for Irahh en headed to Marina Barrage. so many people, please?! i hate it. gahhh~

found a space at Marina Barrage. en guess what?! some idiotic assholes just came en happily sat behind en infront of me, taking up our space! annoying sial.. arrrggghhhh. after fireworks, walked to Marina Bay MRT station. went to City Hall to meet Irahh's bro. en HOME SWEET HOME.

sorry Acip cs i didnt meet you en Tito. lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. heh.

cried myself to sleep. pathetic, but whatever larh ehy~ im very emotional for the past few days. ouh well~

bye larh! heh. =_="

p.s pictures can b found at FB.

a sad sad sad day;

2010-08-08T23:59:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts!

so, met Iraa again. heheh. we're both lyk effing sad okay! huhuhuhuhu. :( so yeah. went to Somerset to get our bangles AGAIN! =_="

friday; 1 ring.
saturday; 1set of bangles.
sunday; 5sets of bangles.

gossshhhh~ im supposed to SAVE, you know! dammmmmmmmmmmm!

walked around for awhile, deciding if we should meet up with the rest at Dhoby Ghaut. met Iqah en Farah at Lido's KFC since ther were having their breaks. thwn, went to Dhoby Ghaut but didnt meet the rest except for Acip. en i lost my god damn ezlink at town! wahhhh, cb! gahhhh~ Acip went off to City Hall while we continued sitting, talking en complaining about hw pathetic guys are, yadda3. ahahaha. en ouh, OUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRET TALK. hehehehe. ^^ awesome sunggoh! HAHAH.

took 7, en home sweet home. i really needed a hug but ouh wells~

p.s pictures can b found at FB. (:

dhoby ghaut;

2010-08-08T02:09:00.006+08:00

7august2010;

heloh sweethearts!

so tdy, met Iraa at about 5pm. headed to City Hall to eat LJS. then, headed to Somerset to gt Iraa's stuff. since we wanted ciq, texted Acip cs i didnt know hu else to find in town area. hahah. headed to Dhoby Ghaut to meet Acip en ended up lepak-ing en watching them skate since we gt nowhere to go. ouh well, had fun tho. unexpected much but yuhh. (: en sorry Einn! ko lmbt sngt. heh.

wow. i didnt see that coming.. wth larh ehy. fuck life.

p.s pictures can b found on FB.

read this;

2010-08-07T14:41:00.000+08:00

“WHEN I GOT HOME THAT NIGHT AS MY WIFE SERVED DINNER, I HELD HER HAND AND SAID, I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. SHE SAT DOWN AND ATE QUIETLY. AGAIN I OBSERVED THE HURT IN HER EYES.

SUDDENLY I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO OPEN MY MOUTH. BUT I HAD TO LET HER KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING. I WANT A DIVORCE. I RAISED THE TOPIC CALMLY.

SHE DIDN’T SEEM TO BE ANNOYED BY MY WORDS, INSTEAD SHE ASKED ME SOFTLY, WHY?

I AVOIDED HER QUESTION. THIS MADE HER ANGRY. SHE THREW AWAY THE CHOPSTICKS AND SHOUTED AT ME, YOU ARE NOT A MAN! THAT NIGHT, WE DIDN’T TALK TO EACH OTHER. SHE WAS WEEPING. I KNEW SHE WANTED TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO OUR MARRIAGE. BUT I COULD HARDLY GIVE HER A SATISFACTORY ANSWER; SHE HAD LOST MY HEART TO JANE. I DIDN’T LOVE HER ANYMORE. I JUST PITIED HER!

WITH A DEEP SENSE OF GUILT, I DRAFTED A DIVORCE AGREEMENT WHICH STATED THAT SHE COULD OWN OUR HOUSE, OUR CAR, AND 30% STAKE OF MY COMPANY.

SHE GLANCED AT IT AND THEN TORE IT INTO PIECES. THE WOMAN WHO HAD SPENT TEN YEARS OF HER LIFE WITH ME HAD BECOME A STRANGER. I FELT SORRY FOR HER WASTED TIME, RESOURCES AND ENERGY BUT I COULD NOT TAKE BACK WHAT I HAD SAID FOR I LOVED JANE SO DEARLY. FINALLY SHE CRIED LOUDLY IN FRONT OF ME, WHICH WAS WHAT I HAD EXPECTED TO SEE. TO ME HER CRY WAS ACTUALLY A KIND OF RELEASE. THE IDEA OF DIVORCE WHICH HAD OBSESSED ME FOR SEVERAL WEEKS SEEMED TO BE FIRMER AND CLEARER NOW.

THE NEXT DAY, I CAME BACK HOME VERY LATE AND FOUND HER WRITING SOMETHING AT THE TABLE. I DIDN’T HAVE SUPPER BUT WENT STRAIGHT TO SLEEP AND FELL ASLEEP VERY FAST BECAUSE I WAS TIRED AFTER AN EVENTFUL DAY WITH JANE.

WHEN I WOKE UP, SHE WAS STILL THERE AT THE TABLE WRITING. I JUST DID NOT CARE SO I TURNED OVER AND WAS ASLEEP AGAIN.

IN THE MORNING SHE PRESENTED HER DIVORCE CONDITIONS: SHE DIDN’T WANT ANYTHING FROM ME, BUT NEEDED A MONTH’S NOTICE BEFORE THE DIVORCE. SHE REQUESTED THAT IN THAT ONE MONTH WE BOTH STRUGGLE TO LIVE AS NORMAL A LIFE AS POSSIBLE. HER REASONS WERE SIMPLE: OUR SON HAD HIS EXAMS IN A MONTH’S TIME AND SHE DIDN’T WANT TO DISRUPT HIM WITH OUR BROKEN MARRIAGE.

THIS WAS AGREEABLE TO ME. BUT SHE HAD SOMETHING MORE, SHE ASKED ME TO RECALL HOW I HAD CARRIED HER INTO OUT BRIDAL ROOM ON OUR WEDDING DAY.

SHE REQUESTED THAT EVERY DAY FOR THE MONTH’S DURATION I CARRY HER OUT OF OUR BEDROOM TO THE FRONT DOOR EVER MORNING. I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING CRAZY. JUST TO MAKE OUR LAST DAYS TOGETHER BEARABLE I ACCEPTED HER ODD REQUEST.

I TOLD JANE ABOUT MY WIFE’S DIVORCE CONDITIONS. . SHE LAUGHED LOUDLY AND THOUGHT IT WAS ABSURD. NO MATTER WHAT TRICKS SHE APPLIES, SHE HAS TO FACE THE DIVORCE, SHE SAID SCORNFULLY.

MY WIFE AND I HADN’T HAD ANY BODY CONTACT SINCE MY DIVORCE INTENTION WAS EXPLICITLY EXPRESSED. SO WHEN I CARRIED HER OUT ON THE FIRST DAY, WE BOTH APPEARED CLUMSY. OUR SON CLAPPED BEHIND US, DADDY IS HOLDING MOMMY IN HIS ARMS. HIS WORDS BROUGHT ME A SENSE OF PAIN. FROM THE BEDROOM TO THE SITTING ROOM, THEN TO THE DOOR, I WALKED OVER TEN METERS WITH HER IN MY ARMS. SHE CLOSED HER EYES AND SAID SOFTLY; DON’T TELL OUR SON ABOUT THE DIVORCE. I NODDED, FEELING SOMEWHAT UPSET. I PUT HER DOWN OUTSIDE
THE DOOR. SHE WENT TO WAIT FOR THE BUS TO WORK. I DROVE ALONE TO THE OFFICE.

ON THE SECOND DAY, BOTH OF US ACTED MUCH MORE EASILY. SHE LEANED ON MY CHEST. I COULD SMELL THE FRAGRANCE OF HER BLOUSE. I REALIZED THAT I HADN’T LOOKED AT THIS WOMAN CAREFULLY FOR A LONG TIME. I REALIZED SHE WAS NOT YOUNG ANY MORE. THERE WERE FINE WRINKLES ON HER FACE, HER HAIR WAS GRAYING! OUR MARRIAGE HAD TAKEN ITS TOLL ON HER. FOR A MINUTE I WONDERED WHAT I HAD DONE TO HER.

ON THE FOURTH DAY, WHEN I LIFTED HER UP, I FELT A SENSE OF INTIMACY RETURNING. THIS WAS THE WOMAN WHO HAD GIVEN TEN YEARS OF HER LIFE TO ME.

ON THE FIFTH AND SIXTH DAY, I REALIZED THAT OUR SENSE OF INTIMACY WAS GROWING AGAIN. I DIDN’T TELL JANE ABOUT THIS. IT BECAME EASIER TO CARRY HER AS THE MONTH SLIPPED BY. PERHAPS THE EVERYDAY WORKOUT MADE ME STRONGER.

SHE WAS CHOOSING WHAT TO WEAR ONE MORNING. SHE TRIED ON QUITE A FEW DRESSES BUT COULD NOT FIND A SUITABLE ONE. THEN SHE SIGHED, ALL MY DRESSES HAVE GROWN BIGGER. I SUDDENLY REALIZED THAT SHE HAD GROWN SO THIN, THAT WAS THE REASON WHY I COULD CARRY HER MORE EASILY.

SUDDENLY IT HIT ME… SHE HAD BURIED SO MUCH PAIN AND BITTERNESS IN HER HEART. SUBCONSCIOUSLY I REACHED OUT AND TOUCHED HER HEAD.

OUR SON CAME IN AT THE MOMENT AND SAID, DAD, IT’S TIME TO CARRY MOM OUT. TO HIM, SEEING HIS FATHER CARRYING HIS MOTHER OUT HAD BECOME AN ESSENTIAL PART OF HIS LIFE. MY WIFE GESTURED TO OUR SON TO COME CLOSER AND HUGGED HIM TIGHTLY. I TURNED MY FACE AWAY BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID I MIGHT CHANGE MY MIND AT THIS LAST MINUTE. I THEN HELD HER IN MY ARMS, WALKING FROM THE BEDROOM, THROUGH THE SITTING ROOM, TO THE HALLWAY. HER HAND SURROUNDED MY NECK SOFTLY AND NATURALLY. I HELD HER BODY TIGHTLY; IT WAS JUST LIKE OUR WEDDING DAY.

BUT HER MUCH LIGHTER WEIGHT MADE ME SAD. ON THE LAST DAY, WHEN I HELD HER IN MY ARMS I COULD HARDLY MOVE A STEP. OUR SON HAD GONE TO SCHOOL. I HELD HER TIGHTLY AND SAID, I HADN’T NOTICED THAT OUR LIFE LACKED INTIMACY.

I DROVE TO OFFICE…. JUMPED OUT OF THE CAR SWIFTLY WITHOUT LOCKING THE DOOR. I WAS AFRAID ANY DELAY WOULD MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND…I WALKED UPSTAIRS. JANE OPENED THE DOOR AND I SAID TO HER, SORRY, JANE, I DO NOT WANT THE DIVORCE ANYMORE.

SHE LOOKED AT ME, ASTONISHED, AND THEN TOUCHED MY FOREHEAD. DO YOU HAVE A FEVER? SHE SAID. I MOVED HER HAND OFF MY HEAD. SORRY, JANE, I SAID, I WON’T DIVORCE. MY MARRIAGE LIFE WAS BORING PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE AND I DIDN’T VALUE THE DETAILS OF OUR LIVES, NOT BECAUSE WE DIDN’T LOVE EACH OTHER ANYMORE. NOW I REALIZE THAT SINCE I CARRIED HER INTO MY HOME ON OUR WEDDING DAY I AM SUPPOSED TO HOLD HER UNTIL DEATH DO US APART.

JANE SEEMED TO SUDDENLY WAKE UP. SHE GAVE ME A LOUD SLAP AND THEN SLAMMED THE DOOR AND BURST INTO TEARS. I WALKED DOWNSTAIRS AND DROVE AWAY.

AT THE FLORAL SHOP ON THE WAY, I ORDERED A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS FOR MY WIFE. THE SALESGIRL ASKED ME WHAT TO WRITE ON THE CARD. I SMILED AND WROTE, I’LL CARRY YOU OUT EVERY MORNING UNTIL DEATH DO US APART.

THAT EVENING I ARRIVED HOME, FLOWERS IN MY HANDS, A SMILE ON MY FACE, I RUN UP STAIRS, ONLY TO FIND MY WIFE IN THE BED - DEAD.
MY WIFE HAD BEEN FIGHTING CANCER FOR MONTHS AND I WAS SO BUSY WITH JANE TO EVEN NOTICE. SHE KNEW THAT SHE WOULD DIE SOON AND SHE WANTED TO SAVE ME FROM THE WHATEVER NEGATIVE REACTION FROM OUR SON, IN CASE WE PUSH THRU WITH THE DIVORCE.— AT LEAST, IN THE EYES OF OUR SON—- I’M A LOVING HUSBAND…. ”

THE SMALL DETAILS OF YOUR LIVES ARE WHAT REALLY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP. IT IS NOT THE MANSION, THE CAR, PROPERTY, THE MONEY IN THE BANK. THESE CREATE AN ENVIRONMENT CONDUCIVE FOR HAPPINESS BUT CANNOT GIVE HAPPINESS IN THEMSELVES. SO FIND TIME TO BE YOUR SPOUSE’S FRIEND AND DO THOSE LITTLE THINGS FOR EACH OTHER THAT BUILD INTIMACY. DO HAVE A REAL HAPPY MARRIAGE!

IF YOU DON’T SHARE THIS, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.

IF YOU DO, YOU JUST MIGHT SAVE A MARRIAGE.
MANY OF LIFE’S FAILURES ARE PEOPLE WHO DID NOT REALIZE HOW CLOSE THEY WERE TO SUCCESS WHEN THEY GAVE UP.

taken from IqahVamp's blog.

da dana dan;

2010-08-07T14:01:00.001+08:00

im bored, so im watching this right now. en gosh, its not helping cs the movie is lyk so merepek. =_="

i wanna g out but theres no one? ahaha. FUCK LARH EHY.

same old shit, i guess? ouh well~

iqahlelly;

2010-08-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

met IqahLelly. had a fucking awesome tym with her. ate at PS's LJS, watched SALT at Lido. its a gd movie BUT the ending was lyk hanging.. =_=" wth kann? then to 313's COFFEE BEAN en headed skate park area to take pictures. CANT WAIT TO MEET YOU AGAIN SAYANG! (:

p.s pictures can b found at FB.

national day 2010;

2010-08-06T13:55:00.000+08:00

had an awesome tym with ICA! (:

random;

2010-08-05T21:37:00.000+08:00

the pic is just sooo damn cute, pleaseeeee. heheh. (:

waffle factory;

2010-08-05T21:34:00.001+08:00

you suck;

2010-08-04T13:05:00.005+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

ytdy night was .......... gahhh~ i was crying lyk hell. mommy found out i drank en all. she didnt scold me but obviously, she reminded me not to du it again, yadda3. en the reason why i cried wasnt because of that. but it was because of my dad. i love you, dad, but i just dun lyk your attitude. to me, you're very irresponsible. so, please. stop blaming mommy en say that im spoil because she always give face to me en pamper me. what would i du without mommy? shes the one who work very hard to support us. i love her more than i love myself. please, mommy dun give face to me. the reason why she allows me to ton en club en whatever else is because she trust me ALOT. shes the one who have always been by my side, never left me even once. where were you when we needed you the most? ahaha. so, please larh ehy. if im rude to you, well, you deserve that. & tell your irritating family members to mind their own business. seriously speaking. i know im being rude but fuck it larh ehy.. its annoying larh sial. i accepted you all as frens in my FB not for yu all to stalk about my personal life en all. so, sorry if im gonna delete you all off FB. its just seriously annoying.

dad, betolkan diri sendiri dulu sebelom nk betolkan diri org laen. thanks. (:

since i was so annoyed ytdy, i just wanted to gt my ass out of the hse. so met Pen ytdy. thanks larh bayloh. thanks for making me smile en laugh. i had fun counting stars with you tho i only found 4! en you found 12.. asshole. mane tah ko nmpk yg laen. ahahah! i know im very annoying cs i keep slapping you for no reason. okay, mayb i slapped you to let g of my frustrations. ahaha. sorry!

en to sherynn, thanks for being there. i love you, pinky. (:

i drink. i club. i smoke.
but i know my limits.

random;

2010-08-03T15:55:00.004+08:00

well, i must admit, you're interesting.

fuckyou;

2010-08-02T17:40:00.002+08:00

gooooooooooooo mati larh! im lyk seriously annoyed with everything en everyone, currently. having my period now made it worst! PMS, i guess. gahhhhhh. go mati larh. fuckyou!

If the ocean was made of vodka and I were a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up.
But since the ocean isnt vodka and Im not a duck, Just hand me the bottle and shut the fuck up.

kites;

2010-08-01T20:52:00.002+08:00

the movie is lyk effing awesome tho im not done watching it. the stupid comp, suddenly died on me! :(

ouh well, i shall find some website to watch it. bahhhhh! :(

ouh, kamu sunggoh menarik perhatian saye! (:

tumse milke dil ka jo haal;

2010-08-01T17:16:00.002+08:00

Ishq jaise hai ik aandhi, ishq hai ik toofaan
Ishq ke aage bebas hai, duniya mein har ilzaam
Ishq mein sab diwaane hain, ishq mein sab hairaan
Ishq mein sab kuch mushkil hai, ishq mein sab aasaan
Dekho pyaare, ye nazaare, ye diwaane, ye parwaane
Ye ishq mein kaise gum

Haay! Tumse milke dil ka hai jo haal kya kahen
Ho gaya hai kaisa ye kamaal kya kahen
Tumse milke dil ka hai jo haal kya kahen
Ho gaya hai kaisa ye kamaal kya kahen

Chorus:
(Dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara
Dhum tara dhum tara dhum-ma
Dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara
Dhum tara dhum tara hum) -2

Dil toh ik raahi jaana, dil ki tum manzil ho
Dil toh hai ik kashti jaana, jiska tum saahil ho
Dil na phir kuch maange jaana, tum agar haasil ho
Dil toh hai mera tanha jaana, aao toh mehfil ho

Ishq se hi saari khushiyaan, ishq hi barbaadi
Ishq hai paabandi lekin, ishq hi azaadi
Ishq ki duniya mein yaaron, khwaab ki aabaadi
Ho gaya woh jisko manzil, ishq ye dikhlaadi
Dekho pyaare, ye nazaare, ye diwaane, ye parwaane
Ye ishq mein kaise gum

Haay! Tumse milke dil ka hai jo haal kya kahen
Ho gaya hai kaisa ye kamaal kya kahen
Tumse milke dil ka hai jo haal kya kahen
Ho gaya hai kaisa ye kamaal kya kahen

Chorus:
Dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara
Dhum tara dhum tara dhum-ma
Dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara
Dhum tara dhum tara hum

Tumko puja hai, tumhaari hi ibaadat kee hai
Hamne jab kee hai, toh phir aise mohabbat kee hai -2
Dil mera paagal hai jaana, isko tum behlaado
Dil mein kyun halchal hai jaana, mujhko tum samjhaado
Dil ka jo aanchal hai jaana, isko tum lehraado
Zulf jo baadal hai jaana, mujhpe tum barsaado
Jaana leke jaaya hai, tera ye diwaana
Jaan tujhpe mit jaayega, tera ye parwaana
Jaana mere dil mein kya hai, tumne ye na jaana
Jaana tujhko yaad aayega, mera ye afsaana

Dekho pyaare, ye nazaare, ye diwaane, ye parwaane
Ye ishq mein kaise gum

Haay! Tumse milke dil ka hai jo haal kya kahen
Ho gaya hai kaisa ye kamaal kya kahen
Tumse milke dil ka hai jo haal kya kahen
Ho gaya hai kaisa ye kamaal kya kahen

Chorus:
(Dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara
Dhum tara dhum tara dhum-ma
Dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara, dhum tara
Dhum tara dhum tara hum) -2

billu barber;

2010-07-31T16:05:00.002+08:00

cinta kita;

2010-07-30T13:21:00.002+08:00

Inilah aku apa adanya
Yang ingin membuatmu bahagia
Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
Sesempurna cintaku padamu

Ini juga ku apa adanya
Yang ingin selalu di sampingmu
Ku tahu semua tiada yg sempurna
Di bawah kolong langit ini

Jalan kita masih panjang
Ku ingin kau selalu disini

Biar cinta kita tumbuh harum mewangi
Dan dunia menjadi saksinya
Untuk apa kita membuang-buang waktu
Dengan kata kata perpisahan

Demi cinta kita aku akan menjaga
Cinta kita yg telah kita bina
Walau hari terus berganti hari lagi
Cinta kita abadi selamanya

Jalan kita masih panjang
Ku ingin kau selalu disini

Biar cinta kita tumbuh harum mewangi
Dan dunia menjadi saksinya
Untuk apa kita membuang-buang waktu
Dengan kata kata perpisahan

Demi cinta kita aku akan menjaga
Cinta kita yg telah kita bina
Walau hari terus berganti hari lagi
Cinta kita abadi selamanya

deep in my heart;

2010-07-30T00:18:00.000+08:00

You can close your eyes to the things that you do not want to see,
But you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
♥

IMM;

2010-07-29T20:05:00.002+08:00

heloh sweethearts.

so yeah, school tdy as usual. then during PPE, Ms Pearl said that we are gg to IMM to gt our project stuff at Daiso. well, almost the whole class went there. KECOHHHHHH, I TELL YOU! (:

afta that, went to COTTON ON to gt 2tops. YAY YAY! ^^ then, lepak en took pickies at IMM's rooftop with Irahh Asraf & Dayah. (:

okay CIAO!

p.s pictures can b found at FB.

random thoughts;

2010-07-28T20:16:00.000+08:00

There’s no need to miss someone from your past.
There’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future.
♥

random thoughts;

2010-07-27T13:00:00.002+08:00

sometyms, randomly,
you just pop up inside my mind..
or mayb you have always been in my mind,
but being me, i choose to ignore it.

Losing you is like losing myself.
I’m never the same again.